April 19, 2007 - 3:04 p.m.
My heart goes out to the 32 victims and their friends & families. It's impossible to imagine the pain and suffering this week. Senseless murders by a student madman. Who should have been helped and forced to seek outpatient treatment with mandatory, follow-up visits in the past two years. A tormented mind left to its own pathogenic, malevolent devices. How tragic and horrific for all involved or impacted by this senseless act of violence.
Angst is the air. Manifesting itself in evil and killing on Monday, April 16th. I was sitting in a hospital emergency waiting room at lunch time when a news bulletin came on the wall-mounted television. Both the volume and close caption words told a horrific story. Thirty-two people were killed at Virginia Tech. After being held inside a classroom with doors chained shut. Police have since discovered it was a troubled student who killed 32 people before taking his own life. How horrible and tragic to die at such a young, tender age. It's sad to die at any age... before your time. It's especially heart-breaking to see a young, barely old enough to drink and vote group of college students have their lives snuffed out by a person with inner demons and a documented mental condition. Apparently the shooter had no visitors during his dorm years at Virginia Tech. He was a loner who stalked three different women, with similar results. He was told to have no further contact with them. And the women let it go; did not press charges against him. I wonder about the killer's family. Why didn't they visit him in the dorm or on campus? To allow your child to attend college with no visible contact is strange in itself. No man or woman should remain alone for great lengths of time. We all have love and belonging needs. Left alone, we can become more psychotic, isolated, and desperate for love and attention. It becomes a vicious, downward spiral. That usually leaves innocent victims dead or picking up the pieces. The classic ex-husband or ex-boyfriend who cannot accept a sudden breakup or legal restraining order. So he lashes out and kills the person he once loved and cared about. Some of the anger stemming from lack of control. No longer being the power holder, decision maker. I went to the ER because I was experiencing abdominal pain. Twelve hours later, the chest X-rays, sonogram, and CAT-Scan reveal enlarged tumors and lymph nodes in my body. A preliminary diagnosis of pancreatis, or leukemia. If I'm to have cancer, it's one of the better kind to have... a slow killer if left untreated. I'm not looking forward to the biopsy, chemotherapy/radiation treatments, and loss of hair. But I am thankful I don't have inoperable brain cancer or some other malignant disease with a few months to live. And it wouldn't hurt me to lose 10-15 pounds. I'll be thankful for the weight loss.
My aunt was diagnosed with cancer at age 28 after she insisted on the removal of a bothersome lump on her neck. Three different doctors kept prescribing her antibiotics. After removing the lump, they found out she had the disease. She turns 70 this year. Her illness returned after age 55 because of the higher doses of radiation treatment she received in 1965, 42 years ago. So I am optimistic my cancer will be treated and I'll have a full recovery and live to be as old as my aunt. Who is quite a character. I resemble her in appearance and she has the same outgoing, likes to laugh personality. I called her at lunch today. She had returned from a trip to Arizona. We spoke on the phone for 30 minutes. My recent cancer news is creating a special bond between us. She doesn't know her blood type. But promised to find out the next time she has her blood taken.
From my online research, Vietnam Vets exposed to Agent Orange and farmers & landscapers exposed to herbicides/weedkillers/bug spray have the highest probability for blood diseases compared to the general population. My mother's side of the family were Midwestern farmers. It wasn't until the early nineteen fifties, they began using specialized sprays and weedkillers in the fields near the farmhouse. Probably explains why both sets of grandparents lived to be over 80 years old. My mother's generation is the first to experience the negative consequences of using manufactured chemicals on family farms. Same goes for the Vietnam Vets first exposed to Agent Orange for exfoliating the jungles to engage enemy troops (VietCong).
Chemicals can slowly kill you over time. Same goes for hair dyes, perfumes and other crap we use on our face and skin. Probably explains why breast cancer is so common in American women, especially wealthy ones or those who live in metropolitan areas. They want to look their best. So they buy the most hair dyes, color treatments, perms, nail polish, and other poisons to beautify their bodies. Not to mention hormone replacement therapy. It's several different types of slow killing ant spray. All of it. Accumulative doses absorb through the skin, eyes, mouth, nose, hair. You reach middle age, and the high accumulative doses manifest into cancer. Not to mention the accumulative effects of wireless, tasteless signals emitted in the air by cell phones, computers, microwaves, satellite dishes, etc. We're all doomed unless we become more green and change our hedonistic ways!
~ Soldier Girl
