November 12, 2007 - 10:58 p.m.
It's stressful getting ready to move. How many times have I been down this road in my 26 years in the military. Yet another test of a soldier's fortitude, ability to adapt and overcome obstacles in life.
One obstacle I have not overcome is a broken heart for the loss of my son Bubbles. I now consider him *missing in action*. A man without a heart, empathy, soul. In danger of losing his sanity, his compassion and love for other human beings. I'm certain Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahlmer, Charles Manson, and other individuals with antisocial personality disorder came to a similar fork in the road. Choosing first to abuse animals before getting a bigger thrill out of abusing, kidnapping, raping, killing, and torturing innocent human beings.
On a different note... I've been thinking about global warming, rising gasoline prices, and how the Bush Administration has done NOTHING for the past seven years to get America off its greed and need for oil. Why did California (Republican Governor) quit issuing HOV stickers for hybrid cars in 2008? Why not use some of the lotto and casino money to subsidize electric cars, Amtrak, and other forms of mass, public transportation. Gasoline rose to $3.35 a gallon this week while oil topped $100 per barrel. The increase has only just begun. We are paying current prices at the pump for oil that cost $60 barrel. Gasoline could climb as high as $5.00 per gallon by the New Year.
I have a scooter, helmet, protective gear and will use it more frequently if gas prices become ridiculously outrageous. I'm not afraid to split lanes and I love the sense of freedom it (scooter riding) brings to the open roads. If I shall die or get seriously injured, at least I know it happened with a smile on my face. One of the few pleasures I have left in this world. I gave up sex sixteen months ago. For many different reasons. My trust for men has reached an all-time low. Reminiscient of the "night crawler" incident when I was five years old. My own flesh and blood made himself judge, juror, executioner of my morale character, personal lifestyle. Of which I could have very little control if I'm genetically predisposed to a certain orientation.
Being in the U.S. military, they give me one choice, straight sex or none at all. Military branches, especially the Army, are willing to give "moral waivers" to past criminals, even those with prior felony arrests. But they (U.S. military) consider homosexuality to be a worse offense! Loving a person of the same sex is worse than robbing or assaulting someone. I'm sickened by the hypocrisy. Men are in charge at the highest ranks, Joint Chiefs of Staff, where all the major decisions are made. They (straight men) don't want any likelihood of another man hitting on them under any circumstance. It threatens their masculinity, sense of self-worth. Yet American military women have to endure the unwanted advances of military men all the time. Especially among the lower, enlisted ranks. A double standard. Not surprisingly, military women have no problems with gay people serving in the military. As long as he/she is capable of completing the mission and is mentally & physically strong. The UCMJ has enough regulations on sexual harassment to handle unwanted advances and behaviors from straight and gay in the military. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is the last bastion of prejudice in America.
~ Soldier Girl
