July 24, 2008 - 11:38 p.m.
I woke up today promising myself to become a changed person. One who gets seven hours of sleep, practices her instrument regularly, and quits waiting for a mystical, magical carpet ride of inspiration. It's not going to happen in Gone With the Wind, sweep me off my feet encounters. But slowly, in time. In these quiet moments, the little things stand out. Enjoying life to the fullest with people who recognize and appreciate shared interests. Collective spirits moving toward shared, common goals.
Tonight, I attended a sailboat capsize and safety rescue course. It was a mixture of middle age men, several nationalities, and three women. Our instructor gave us a step-by-step checklist of how to start and operate the boat and perform rescues. I got to practice on a turtled Sunfish. The trick is lifting the mast out of the water while the skipper turns the bow into the wind. Once on its side, a sailboat is easy to maneuver in the upright position.
I took this time this week to review older journal entries. They're mainly downers! A read in depression, isolation, and heartbroken anxiety over my struggles and turmoil with teenage son Bubbles who joined the Army in January. I failed to mention the miracle that took place between us in June 2008. He is currently in Texas undergoing specialized training. I sacrificed my time and drove eight hours in each direction to visit him on active duty. I took Bubbles to his favorite restaurants, out shopping, and sight-seeing in San Antonio. It did wonders in healing the rift between us. I know he contributed to my health crisis last year. One of every four alienated parents will develop some type of major health condition. I got cancer. A friend of mine had a heart attack at age 35 because his ex-wife alienated his twins against him. A bad, malicious custodial parent learns quickly how to use a child as leverage to extract more child support from the non-custodial parent. Easiest way to achieve this greed is to alienate a child against the other parent. Happens all the time. If recently divorced with child(ren), prepare yourself for an uphill battle. Remember a child can choose which parent to live with full-time when he/she turns 14, in most states. Whatever custody agreement you have in place today could change overnight if the child decides he/she wants to spend more time with the other parent.
I made a promise to myself...no worries about the stomach pains. They're not tumors returning and growing in my lymph system. It's the aches and pains of being middle age and turtling a boat while sailing. In the water pulling myself onto the slippery bottom of a capsized sailboat. Minutes earlier, I had a wide ass grin on my face for crewing a sunfish in 15-20 knot, heavy winds and getting Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, free of charge. No gasoline to buy when sailing without a motor. No drugs or alcohol needed to catch the wind and keel the boat close haul. Leaving a noticeable wake while keeping alert to white caps swelling on the water and wave height.
I've decided to answer platonic ads on Craigslist from like-minded individuals my age. I'm going to follow my heart and embrace those activities which bring a smile to my face... scooter riding, sailing, kayaking, boating, running, open mic events, walking, cycling and drooling over my dream bike...BMW F650CS in baby blue, copper, or silver. Below is a youtube link from the engineer, designer. BMW quit making this single piston, belt-driven, two spark masterpiece in 2005. I want to purchase one and make a road trip up the coast to Portland or Seattle with a like-minded motorcycle enthusiast or someone willing to drive a cage and be a crew member, friend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5H2riFnWIcE
My favorite Youtube video of BMW F650CS with female rider:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIPf9zBF9Vo
Keep the shiny side up. Tack, jibe, come about with ease! Life is too short for excuse making... reasons not to cherish fun moments, grab the gusto, and sheet out to leeward in a boat, on a windsurfing board! Heavy air can be a good thing with the right equipment.
~ Soldier Girl
