April 29, 2006 - 9:28 a.m.
They found her on the bedroom floor. Dead from a hit on the head or something. I can't help but wonder if she sought release from her trials and tribulations. Ex husband sitting in jail. Restraining order. Beating her with his fists. New boyfriend is a kind man. The one who found her gone yesterday morning. She was a distant friend of mine. We shared a cabin. She was a mentor, role model. Bringing in a six figure income. Driving a Benz listening to country & western music. Although she was successful, she never flaunted her wealth. She died in a beach house overlooking the ocean.
I've been severely depressed for the past 24 hours. I don't even feel like taking a shower. She was my age, forty-something woman who survived an ugly divorce, corporate layoff, high-tech employment before taking a job as a beauty consultant.
I forgive those who trespass against me. Forgive the ones who take the name in vain. Telling lies and stealing identities. The devil's work. Forgive the ones who sit in their prison cells unable to take care of their children. Or attend funerals. If you can turn a cheek to forgiveness, than God should forgive you. That's the only way healing can occur. It may do you some good.
I hear the cello's loud, deep, bellowing voice. Cascading throughout the building. God sent me an older angel last week. A mother, sister angel. Who plays beautifully. She doesn't sing a note. But listened patiently as I worked up the nerve to sing. Beaten down by self-doubt and people with better ranges. I think Casey was correct in her conclusion. American Idol probably destroys more vocalists than it helps on any given week. Perfection. Just like the Olympics. You have to stick the landing EVERY single time. One slip, one mistake, and your ass is left alone on the cold ice.
~ Soldier Girl
