January 06, 2006 - 10:12 p.m.
It's the new year and five days later... My porch not quite swept clean of leaves and debris. Wet, damp leaves clinging to the sidewalks. I look back to the Fall. The fall of our friendship. The purity of intent. Happiness is not getting what you want but wanting what you have. Size 14 font in black ink on the place marker of a book I haven't read. Wanting what you have. Ironic isn't it. A desire to bring out the other's talent. Turned into rejection. Deafening silence. I cannot apologize for sensing or knowing the hearts beating rhythm. That day. The previous months. I relearned the lessons of not practicing. How it manifests itself without pity. Even among the truly gifted and most talented. Compare yourself to a summer's eve. The fairest maiden. Younger years have passed away. I can't cry for yesterday. Pure of heart. Humble. As though I ever wanted to compete. Not your green with envy cup of tea. Green with environmental convictions. Silence is the answer of one year.
~ Soldier Girl
