August 08, 2005 - 9:46 p.m.
A shadow of oneself. Imagine the perfect age you liked or remember. And look in the mirror today. Or sometime after age 40. And see a reflection of that ideal person. Ten years ago, I had a better waistline and could actually tuck in my shirts with a perfect gig line straight and true with no stomach hangover. My biggest worry involved periodic outbreaks of acne during a monthly cycle. Being a decade older with drier skin, I no longer have that same issue. Now the issue becomes a daily count of the names and people I grew up with who have major illnesses, dead, or currently dying. Peter Jennings case in point yesterday. Our own dear mother may have one or two months of life left in her. Ruby laments and thinks not that long. I need a physical change in scenery. A mental challenge. I get to travel back east for 45 days to visit my ailing mother and work a temporary job assignment. If all goes well, I could apply for the same position on a permanent basis; four year controlled tour. At the seat of political power and high level decision-making. With age comes wisdom, experience, and a desire for people to tap into these qualities you spend two or more decades developing. One day finally arriving at a place of value-added, juice-worth-the-squeeze existence. It's a fleeting moment in time.
Almost finished reading the Million Dollar Baby book formerly published as Rope Burns. Excellent collection of boxing short stories. The underlying theme/message is respect. One must have it in the boxing world. Also applies to any relationship or human endeavor. Who wants to be with someone out of pity, or some form of long-term, frustrating obligation. Waste of time and energy. Helping a dying friend or family member is a different matter, altogether. Many times in life, we are called to comfort and assist each other through difficult times. Respect occurs on many, interwoven levels. Physical, mental, emotional, economic, educational, intellectual, et al. Deception lessens respect. Lying and cheating also degrades it. Respect is something earned and maintained day by day, hour by hour. Don't confuse it with truthfulness. They go together but not in every instance. Respect yourself before you can respect others.
~ Soldier Girl
