March 19, 2010 - 4:41 p.m.
Last night, I had dinner with Jane. My treat. She loves tri-tip and I found a grill in Midtown that cooks red meat and salmon on an open flame fueled by firewood. Jane treated me to dinner a week ago. We had designer salads with all the trimmings. Jane surprised me with her self-disclosures. Said she missed me. And would try harder to embrace her femininity. At least not have her hair cut short around the ears. I like her triple pierced earrings. She made an attempt in changing her wardrobe. She wore a black, form-fitting shirt that looked more feminine than usually worn by Jane. With a little mascara, she could pass for a thinner, ethnic version of Corky in the movie "Bound". I think she has hot woman potential.
Apple may be making her presence known on CL. Recently, I have seen a few postings that are hauntingly familiar. As part of my spiritual re-awakening, I sent her a text message on Sunday about forgiveness and healing. She may have misinterpreted it as a rejection message. It was meant to be healing in nature, an affirmation. Not a guilt trip or written out of anger. I continue to pray for her soul. Her spirit. And perhaps one day, Apple will be able to fully examine the invisible footprints of her life and the reciprocal impact on other people. To finally reach self-acceptance, reflection, and non-blaming. Acknowledgment of one's strengths and weaknesses seem to go right by her feelings of pain and abandonment. I'm no shrink. No psychologist. I can't emotionally fix or help her. Apple has to be the one who reaches out for professional help and counseling. I hope she finds peace, understanding, and joy in life. Instead of paranoia, imaginary games, intense anger, and unshared blame.
�
�
